David Touretzky and Deana Holmes on Christianity:
David Touretzky: “Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma?”
Deana Holmes: “Summary: God’s violent anger is directed toward those who dare to question His perfect love for them. Grandma Jenkins is no exception. One little slip of the tongue on her deathbed secured an eternity of separation from God. Marooned alone in the lake of fire, her only company is a visiting red-finned water demon who sodomizes her from the deep as fire waves crash into her screaming head and burst her wrinkled body into flames.”
Another example on how David Touretzky spends his grant money:
“I’ve given three interviews today. I’ve spent 4 hours on the phone today giving interviews.”
David Touretzky’s comment about the Salvation Army:
“… the Salvation Army … buncha fuckheads.”